i could be underground

Friday Night Family Blogging

2008-08-15T20:21:00.000-07:00

Eleanor is small, but something about this shot makes her look like she's about 1/4 the size of Shiloh. She's not really that small, though both she and Shiloh do fit quite nicely in Shiloh's cage. Let's all pretend that Dad remembered to wash Eleanor's hands before she ate dinner that night.

Here Comes the Pain

2008-08-13T20:23:00.000-07:00

After this and this, I found myself actually glancing at this just to see where they were. Why am I doing this? We all know how it's going to end.

Trial, Trial, and Erie

2008-06-05T19:38:00.000-07:00

Went to trial for the first time two weeks ago. We made it two days before the parties broke down and settled the dispute. Good for the client, bad for the lawyers. I made one argument in front of the judge that I couldn't lose, but it still felt good to get that bit of experience out of the way. We settled before any of my witnesses testified. Boo!

I also went to trial today as an assistant district attorney in a suburban county near here. I successfully prosecuted someone for speeding. Hooray! Note to speeders: discrepancies on the ticket do not matter if the charging instrument is correct or is silent as to the discrepancy. I successfully proved that the location where the guy was speeding was still within the court's jurisdiction even though it was a different place than the one listed on the ticket. Said county is now $199 richer thanks to my efforts. I think they probably staved off bankruptcy as a result.

Also successful this week was a brief by myself and another associate that argued that federal courts can appoint a receiver based on state substantive law. The Supreme Court last addressed this issue 10 years before Erie Railroad v. Tompkins and the circuits are split, so we asked a judge to make some new law. Woolley would be proud because we broke out the Civ Pro outline--Erie flow chart included--and walked through a full-blown, exam-style Erie analysis. We also explained how Texas--unlike most U.S. states--has never treated law and equity differently and so an equitable remedy that might not technically be "outcome determinative" in the Erie-sense in some states, does, in fact, affect a substantive right in Texas that would lead to forum shopping at the outset of the litigation. The court accepted the argument and we're due for a receivership hearing next month, live witnesses and all. Hooray! The hearing, however, is in Dallas. Boo!

Flickr + Yahoo! = The Devil

2008-06-05T19:13:00.000-07:00

My Flickr account exists, but I am required to access it through Yahoo! But now Yahoo! says that I don't have that Flickr account, I have a new Flickr account with no photos in it. But my old account, and all the pictures, are still right there for all to view. I'm just apparently blocked from accessing the account in any way, even though I can access the Yahoo! account to which the Flickr account is linked.

I hope Carl Icahn buys Yahoo! and runs it into the fucking ground. Remember when Yahoo! was a great website? I do, but it was a long time ago. Go to hell you dissident-killing motherfuckers.

/angry

Shit

2008-04-03T22:47:00.000-07:00

As in, my cat, Porter, came in this evening with something sticky on his fur and I pulled some of it off and discovered that it was shit. This was at 11:00 pm and our only bath tub is next to my (sleeping) daughter's bedroom. Something tells me scrubbing shit out of a cat's fur in a bath is going to be noisy. So now my be-shitted cat is locked in the utility room so I can bathe him tomorrow morning before work.

Also, as in I have to go to Dallas on Monday and Tuesday.

/shit

It's "Official"

2008-03-29T12:33:00.001-07:00

We made the agreement described below and our precinct is going to send one Clinton delegate and one Obama delegate to Austin for the state convention. That's how the results would have turned out if we had held an actual vote, and this lets people go home before the actual vote is held which, at the rate we're going, probably won't take place until late this afternoon.

--
Sent from Gmail for mobile | mobile.google.com

Senatorial District 15

2008-03-29T12:01:00.001-07:00

This is awesome.

Speeches from state senators John Whitmire and Mario Gallegos, state rep Sylvester Turner and congresswoman Sheila Jackson-Lee. Talk about red meat. It's been nice though, that all of them have said that what matters is that no matter how we fight now, we all need to be together
in November.

Interestingly, Jackson-Lee was booed heavily when she spoke. So heavily that Whitmire had to intervene and calm people down. Apparently her support of Clinton is not going over well among her constituents.

Also worth noting is that some of the precincts here, mine included, have made an agreement on how we will divvy up our state convention delegates without having to keep all of us here all day. Not sure if it's kosher rules-wise, but it makes sense practically because we've been here since 8:00 am (it's 2:00 pm) and aren't really close to holding the actual votes yet.

--Sent from Gmail for mobile | mobile.google.com

Lazy Photoblogging

2008-03-27T21:03:00.001-07:00

Dad's attempt to make Eleanor a tomboy: FAIL.

In keeping with southern tradition, we celebrate all Christian holidays with NASCAR-style exhibits of left-turning-ability. Here, in honor of our risen Lord, Eleanor enters the back stretch of the Just Born Marshmallow Peeps 500.

Stuff I Like

2008-03-18T22:28:00.000-07:00

Going through Stuff White People Like and counting the number of things I don't like. I like not liking things that people think white people like. But it turns out that I like a number of the things that people think white people like.

Kneel Before Zod!

2008-03-16T20:01:00.000-07:00

Every single time I wear this tie I get compliments on it from people at work. That only happens with this tie; I've never had someone say a word about any of my other ties, suits, or shirts. Do the rest of my ties look that bad that this one is a huge improvement that must be remarked-upon?

The complimenters include men and women, both gay and straight, and partners and associates, so the tie appears to have universal appeal, more even than the person wearing it. I think this will be my substitution for actual client-development activities; I will wear this tie and bend the potential clients to my will.

Alexander Hamilton is Aroused

2008-03-16T19:48:00.000-07:00

I can't be sure, but I'm pretty sure that New York-brand Texas toast, manufactured in Columbus, Ohio is what the Founding Fathers were thinking about when they drafted the Commerce Clause.

Caucus Night at Precinct 54

2008-03-04T20:49:00.000-08:00

I attended the Harris County Precinct 54 caucus and convention tonight and had a great time. The turnout was amazing, I think there were over 500 people there between the two precincts that share the same voting site. People were well-behaved and formed orderly lines even though we all had to wait outside in the cold while the primary voting finished up.

The caucus process itself was orderly but only because it was carried out directly contrary to the Rules of the Democratic Party of Texas and the various memorandums and FAQs distributed by the party in the days leading up the caucus.

The Obama and Clinton people lined us all up and had us come into the building and fill out the sign-in sheet where we indicated our preference for president. So far, so good. Then we all sat around and voted on the chair and the secretary of the convention and various non-binding resolutions while people tallied the sign-in sheets that would determine the number of delegates that would be distributed to each candidate. One of the resolutions was to fine people who don't vote in the primary and donate the money to local libraries. I kid you not. An older lady got up and denounced the resolution as "fascist." Again, this actually happened. The resolution was voted down though we did approve three resolutions: one denouncing the Trans-Texas Corridor, one calling for an end to the caucus system in Texas, and one calling for an end to the super-delegate system nationwide. And so we carried on a proud Democratic tradition of resolving to do things that we won't actually do. Rock on.

This is when things started to go wrong, though the problems were not disclosed to any of the participants ahead of time; I only found out because I asked the people who tallied the sheets after everything was over. It turns out that no attempt was made to verify that the people who signed in had voted in the Democratic primary, nor was any attempt made to verify that the people who showed up even lived in the precinct. According to section 172.1141 of the Texas Election Code, the election judge of the precinct is supposed to provide a list of voters to the chair of the precinct convention. Article IV, Section (B)(4) (PDF) of the Democratic Party Rules says that you are only eligible to participate in the convention if you voted in the Democratic primary. The convention chair is supposed to verify eligibility before the caucusing occurs and the delegates are allocated to the candidates. This never happened in my precinct. Instead, the Obama people and the Clinton people got together and tallied the sign-in sheets. They basically came to a gentleman's agreement that all of the people who signed in were going to be allowed to participate even though no one had checked their eligibility. This wasn't announced before the caucusing began; I had to go ask the Obama and Clinton people how they checked eligibility so fast and they said that they didn't. It will be up to people to challenge the results if they want to. The state party isn't going to check eligibility unless people challenge the results.

People are going to challenge the results and my guess is that lots of precinct conventions went down the same way because it was late and there were lots of people there and there was no time to check them all and have any hope of keeping them around. That means that the state party isn't going to be able to allocate delegates until every precinct is either checked against the list of people who voted or the deadline for challenging the results--if there is a deadline--passes. What a mess.

The end result in precinct 54 is that Obama got 16 delegates and Clinton got 13. This is not the same as the delegates that you see on CNN and NYTimes.com, those delegates won't be allocated until the state convention in a couple of months, but the precinct level delegate count will give an indication of how the state-level delegates will be allocated. Confused yet? Good. I'm an Obama delegate for the senatorial district convention on March 29th. I figure I'll keep nominating myself and see if I can make it all the way to Denver.

As if 500 people showing up and being left in the dark as their votes were potentially diluted by non-eligible participants wasn't enough, someone had a heart attack while we were all waiting around to get in to the school so an ambulance and a fire truck showed up. It sounded like the guys was going to be OK.

Big Day

2008-02-21T22:24:00.009-08:00

There have been a number of days where I felt like an actual lawyer, but yesterday was certainly my favorite. My pro bono client had her interview with USCIS and her petition for special immigrant juvenile status was approved. She's not quite a lawful permanent resident yet, but she is now legally in the U.S. and is not subject to deportation. It's taken 11 months to get here. We've been through three deportation hearings, two family court hearings, and one under-oath interview, and now it has all paid off. My biggest fear as a lawyer has never been to screw up at work, it's been that my inexperience would get this girl deported. It looks like that's not going to happen.

I can't imagine how bad life must have been in her native country for her to trust herself to a coyote and walk across the desert to get here. Now she has a permanent legal guardian, is enrolled in high school--in the same district where I went to high school--and is on the path to citizenship. It's been a long time since I've felt this proud.

Friday Neglected Smoking Blogging

2008-02-15T17:48:00.000-08:00

A few weeks since I did this one, but it was another smoked pork shoulder (Boston butt). Pictured with the weekend's family- (and health- and class-) free beverages.

-Champagne!

A Much Needed Update

2008-02-15T17:42:00.001-08:00

The blog has languished, no doubt, so I'm going to make yet another psuedo pledge to blog more, if only because writing is a good outlet and the only writing that I do now begins with "TO THE HONORABLE" and ends with "WHEREAS, PREMISES CONSIDERED." Yes, in all caps. No, the rest of the motions are never in all caps. Why these phrases? Because that's the way we've been doing it since 1885 and who am I to stop it. I've found one partner who is firmly in the Plain English Movement camp, but she is somewhat terrifying to work for because she doesn't appear to sleep or go home. She was disappointed and somewhat put out when she found out that the office was closed the day after Thanksgiving. I'm not going to pretend that I didn't also work the day after Thanksgiving, but I at least didn't go into the office.

So work is busy, busy, busy most weeks and then there's a week like this one where I do three hours of doc review a day, draft some pleadings that are copied and pasted out of old versions of the same pleadings (Rule 26(a)(1)(A) and Statements of Financially Interested Parties) and spend an inordinate amount of time perfecting pro bono memos. And then Friday 4pm comes along and there's a memo due Monday, though I won't complain because it's on an interesting subject (receivership) and for an associate who I really like.

Which brings me to a (perhaps not so) surprising realization: I really like being a lawyer, even at a big firm like this. I'd come close to saying there are times when I love it, even late at night when we're madly trying to get something filed. I think a huge part of that enjoyment is the people I work for on almost all of my cases. I basically work with one partner and a few other associates and they all enjoy being lawyers, and they especially enjoy being litigators. They like to sitting around and argue about how to out-smart the other side and they are profane and hilarious about it. So maybe I don't really like being a lawyer, maybe I just really like being these people's co-worker. It's more than I expected from work, so I'll take it.

Home life is also very good. Eleanor is walking and talking and getting to the stage where she repeats what we say, so I have to watch it when I drive because I categorically hate my fellow drivers in Houston. We had two cats and still have them and we have now added a yellow lab, Shiloh. We got her from a rescue group and she already had the name when they got her, so I don't know it's origin, but I choose to believe she is named after the excellent Neil Diamond song of the same name and not the novel about a dog.

More again soon(er).

A Word From Our Sponsor

2007-11-28T19:52:00.000-08:00

You might think the link is a joke, but I'm only slightly kidding. Mrs. Underground and her parents and Eleanor were in a rollover accident this week. This is the truck they were in:

It rolled three or more times. Mrs. Underground and her Dad sustained cuts and bruises requiring stitches. Mrs. Underground's Mom crushed some of her vertebrae and broke her wrist and will be wearing a neck brace for six weeks. Eleanor literally was not scratched. She doesn't even have bruises or red marks where the straps went across her shoulders. I can't recommend that car seat highly enough.

UPDATE: The post title is a link to the brand of seat that Eleanor was in, I'm not sure that the original post made that clear. The seat is a Britax Marathon and it turns out they the company, in additional to building kick ass car seats, is also awesome at customer service. If you send them an accident-damaged seat, they replace it free of charge. They even pay for shipping. Eleanor's seat didn't look at all damaged, but you're still supposed to replace them after an accident. Thanks to Britax, we didn't have to shell out $200 for a new one. Once again, I can't recommend that car seat or the company highly enough.

Saturday Austin Blogging

2007-09-01T20:09:00.000-07:00

Airport Boulevard

I love Airport Boulevard in Austin. The map doesn't do it justice, but it cuts jaggedly across the near-perfect grid of streets that make up north central Austin. Forget Sixth Street, this is Austin's own Broadway. I'm a huge fan of cities that are laid out cleanly on a grid, but I also love the random streets that cut through that. Heading up Airport from campus always felt like a secret route, even though it's a relatively major, four-lane thoroughfare. Other than perhaps the shittiest mall left in Austin, Airport doesn't really take you anywhere. It doesn't even take you to the airport because they closed the airport it's named for and turned it into an overpriced housing development. It does, however, have a nice little stretch as you turn left from 45th with an art space, I Luv Video, and Burger Tex. For those who haven't tried the latter two, you must. I Luv is two stories of nearly any video you could want and the bulgogi at Burger Tex is so good that I confess to never actually having had a burger at Burger Tex. We'll be back in Austin in a couple of weeks and I'll probably look for an excuse to drive up Airport, even if just to drive it. Cutting across the conformity that I find so comforting in the rest of my life. A weak, paved rebellion and that's enough for me.

Friday Houston Blogging

2007-08-31T20:41:00.000-07:00

The plan to post more involves a list of things I like or love about Houston and Austin and trying to do one post each week, and possibly one post for each city each week if I'm feeling ambitious.

The Commute

Believe it or not, I really enjoy my commute into work in the mornings. It's six miles and generally takes 20 minutes or less. I take the surface streets through our neighborhood and then onto Shepherd Drive, which is the main north-south (non-freeway) thoroughfare on the west side of Houston. A few miles south and then a left onto Memorial Drive. Memorial winds along Buffalo Bayou, with parks and green spaces on both sides. A mile or so before downtown, you come around a slow curve and downtown comes out of the trees at you. It's a good looking downtown and especially beautiful in the morning when it's back lit by the sun. This is basically the view as you come around that corner (though this is actually a park below the street, so the angle's a little different).

The first time I took this route into work I found that I couldn't stop smiling. I never expected to find something as dull as a commute so pleasing. Driving through three or so miles of green space with little traffic and good music on is a a great way to start the day. I honestly don't think I would enjoy my job nearly as much (or at all) if it was an hour or more slog each way on an ugly freeway filled with angry commuters. I work on the west side of downtown in the building just behind and to the right of the blue one with the gray top. I'm about 2/3 of the way up, facing west so these parks and the Bayou are my view from the office. Not too bad. Cheers to Houston for being more naturally beautiful than I thought possible.

Photo by Flickr user MsRuby used under a Creative Commons license

If I stay on the Rez . . .

2007-08-31T19:50:00.000-07:00

. . . I'll blog more. It's obviously been too long. The following is a mish mash catch-up and such.

First, bored associates (not me) discovered today that I help one of our major clients meet their diversity goals because, at least in their internal database, I am listed as "Native American/Pacific Islander." Never having been further West than the Fishermen's Wharf in San Francisco, I can only assume that they assume that I am Native American. Now Mrs. Underground's family is from Oklahoma and one of my good friends/ex-girlfriends is part Choctaw, but I somehow doubt that qualified me as a Native American. Nevertheless, it's nice to know I provide some value to this particular client since they removed from the last (and only) case I worked on for them because their bills were too high.

Life is generally good, though work is getting out of control and it's difficult to see an end to it. I've been a sort of utility infielder on one particular securities class action and now it has taken over my life. Hours of doc review each day in August to meet a discovery deadline . . . which was extended. We were stressed out about the deadline because we were going to have to take or defend 13 depositions in 13 days. Whew! Imagine our relief when it got extended so now the plaintiffs have noticed 25 depositions in 30 days. Piece of cake, right? On the plus side, there's enough depositions of former employees in god-awful small towns in West Texas that I'll probably get to take and/or defend one or more of the depos.

Back to life. Eleanor is one and a month. She stands, she (sort of) talks, she commando crawls, and tries to take some steps, but no success there yet. She and Mrs. Underground are always a pleasure to come home to and really do make the long hours seem OK. I don't know how long I can keep up work like this because it's infringed on evening time a bit, and that's tough because Eleanor and I usually get an hour or so a night to just hang out and there's literally nothing better in the world than that. I'm hoping this month was an anomaly (billed 220 hours).

Even though work has been a bit crushing at time, it's generally been entertaining and I still feel incredibly lucky to work for the associates and partner I work for. They're smart and funny and profane and really, truly get a kick out of being lawyers which makes it fun to work for them. Has anyone else found that their cases are just like soap operas? I haven't come across anything as dramatic as "Michael Clayton," but the sheer pettiness and near-insanity of some of the people involved in these cases blows me away, especially considering that these are generally very large companies with substantial sums of money at risk.

Have I mentioned that I love our neighborhood? Because I do. Yes, they're tearing down some of the original houses and putting up some ultra-modern monstrosities, but the people here remain fantastic. A sample:

That would be my neighbor (a 35-year-old plaintiff's attorney)'s house and that would be a giant picture of a different neighbor occupying the first neighbor's window. The same neighbor who decorates the sidewalks around the neighborhood with the phrase "[Underground] Sucks" written in glorious pastel chalk. Everyone is out walking in the evenings and we really do know basically everyone on our street. Plus, less than a mile from a grocery store, a Mexican meat market, and a supply of excellent local coffee.

I really don't know what else to report about life even though it's been more than two months since I posted anything. So this will have to do for now. Hopefully more posts more often.

A Letter

2007-07-02T18:21:00.000-07:00

Mr. President,

Your contempt for law and order and the American jury system is breathtaking and depressing. Your commutation of Lewis Libby's sentence is shameful and wrong. He covered up for and lied on behalf of people who exposed the identity of an undercover CIA agent. I shouldn't be surprised that your contempt for our CIA agents who risk their lives is equal to your contempt for the American troops in Iraq, but I was hoping you still believed in the American system of justice. I was wrong. You are a terrible president and this commutation simply confirms that fact. Even as troops die because of your stubborn ignorance, you choose to commute the sentence of a privileged lawyer who was convicted of a crime. Congratulations. You could not be more out of touch with the American people. The 72% of us who disapprove of you continue to count down the days that we have to live under your incompetent and corrupt presidency. January 2009 cannot come soon enough. Good day.

Friday Hair Blogging

2007-06-28T22:44:00.001-07:00

-Eleanor has her father's ridiculously out-of-control hair.

Friday Nuisance Blogging

2007-06-15T20:18:00.001-07:00

I was clearing out the weed-ridden beds in our backyard and found this four-foot deep sinkhole when I pulled out a chunk of monkey grass. The roots of the monkey grass were so thick that I never noticed this hole despite walking over this spot many times while mowing the grass. I try not to think about things like this when we get four inches of rain in a couple of hours and it sits in puddles against our 57-year-old foundation.

Father's Day Comes Early

2007-06-15T18:56:00.000-07:00

Mrs. Underground is out of town for a wedding this weekend so Eleanor and I were left to fend for ourselves. We decided to build a smoker and smoke some pork chops. Sadly, she fell asleep before they were done so I ate them all. The smoker is basically an exact replica of one assembled by Alton Brown on "Good Eats."

The smoker is built from a terra cotta pot and bowl, a grill rack, a 1000 watt hot plate, a heavy pan, a thermometer, two bricks, and a dolly for the whole thing to rest on. I updated this because I originally used an 800 watt hot plate which did OK for the pork chops but couldn't get the pit hot enough for a brisket. Replaced it with a 1000 watt model today and it appears to be working just fine. Holding steady at 220 degrees with copious mesquite smoke coming out of the sides.

Put the hot plate on the bricks at the bottom of the pot, pan with wood in it on top of that, then the rack, the bowl, and the thermometer.

Dry rub ingredients.

This is where the magic happens.

Pork: It's what's for dinner . . . and probably breakfast as well since seven pork chops in one sitting would be a bit excessive.

A Short Film

2007-06-15T09:27:00.000-07:00

Eleanor doesn't know who mom is and doesn't know who dad is, but she knows who the cats are and that's what's really important.

It's Coming

2007-06-09T18:08:00.000-07:00

I'm a politics junkie and even I think the debates and campaigning have begun a little early this time around. The election is becoming unavoidable and it does make me a little excited if for no reason other than to think that the next president cannot possibly be as bad as the current one.*

For the past few days I've been thinking about non-negotiable things that someone must stand for to get my vote. I might be willing to haggle about priority on these things, but a candidate must stand where I do to get my vote. This is my initial list of things that I am positive will not change, but I'm guessing the list will grow over the next 18 months.

My principles:

You must believe in evolution and support teaching it in public schools.

You must support civil unions for gays. This might turn into a demand that you support a single standard: everyone gets marriage or everyone gets civil unions. For now, however, supporting legal recognition for all adults to make partnership decisions is enough for me.

You must disapprove of any and all justifications for torture or "enhanced" interrogation techniques or whatever the barbarians in the White House and the OLC are calling it now.

You must support treating all persons captured by U.S. troops as either criminals subject to federal criminal law or prisoners of war under the Geneva Convention.

I'd love to hear what other people people consider their non-negotiable principles when it comes to presidential candidates.

* May not apply to candidates named Giuliani, McCain, Biden, Romney, Gingrich, Thompson, Kucinich, Gavel, Brownback, Huckabee, Hunter, Paul, or Tancredo.

Grow Up

2007-06-05T21:14:00.000-07:00

Boys like me who grew up liking rock, had a passing interest in metal, became emo teenagers, and then sensitive late-twenty something men will enjoy this. Certainly everyone who has seen the original even once will find it humorous.

Spoon is Busting Out All Over

2007-06-05T21:05:00.000-07:00

Bits and pieces of the new album turning up here and there.

Watch out for Bears

2007-06-04T18:46:00.000-07:00

Announced as one of the groups attending Sunday's Astros-Cardinals game:

"Veronica Corningstone and friends!"

No jokes or smirks from the broadcast booth. I don't expect the ancient Milo Hamilton to get the joke but I kind of thought either Dave Raymond or Brett Dolan would. Disappointing all around.

Mixed Signals

2007-06-04T18:28:00.000-07:00

For obvious reasons, baseball has been extremely forceful in its anti-gambling stance. Commissioner Bowie Kuhn once went so far as to ban Willie Mays and Mickey Mantle from any participation with the sport because both served as casino hosts after they retired (they were later reinstated). All of this makes me a little confused when I hear radio ads for the Astros Texas Lottery Scratch-off Game. The lottery is clearly gambling, even if it's not gambling on baseball. Mantle and Mays weren't running a sports book, they were just associated with gambling and that was enough to get them banned. And now we have baseball endorsing and taking profits from a gambling enterprise that is especially nefarious, not because it hurts baseball, but because of its societal impact.

Badass

2007-06-01T00:11:00.000-07:00

A mash up that makes both the movie and the song that much better. Internet at 2:00 AM on a work night = excellent use of time.

Friday Neighborhood Blogging

2007-05-31T18:51:00.000-07:00

Hanging in the dining room of our local Mission Burritos. Apparently our neighborhood is rife with desperate produce vendors who trick hapless quick-service restaurant employees into signing contracts on behalf of their employers.

Memorial Day

2007-05-30T23:03:00.000-07:00

I remember my Grandfather, who was drafted two months before the fall of Berlin and missed the ship that sent his unit to the Pacific (and was subsequently hit by kamikazes) because he had blood poisoning. He served his time, made sergeant, and was a wonderful grandfather. He's from a time when I believe our country was still great and still did special and great things simply because they were right.

This Memorial Day, I choose to remember the time when I believed our country did great and special things. I think of these things on Memorial Day because I believe that, just like my grandfather, that time is now dead.

We are not special. We are not great. We are better than some and much worse than many. We have twice elected a proudly ignorant bigot who jokes about the death he inflicts upon others. He defends the despicable and mocks the profoundly penitent. We stand with those who oppress their own people and turn on tyrants only when they cease being useful.

I still want to love the people of this country even as I despise the people we have elected to run it. But our disgust with the political system and continued settling for the status quo reveals to me not a broken system that has betrayed the people but a populace that has become willfully ignorant of the horror we are inflicting on the rest of the world. We purposefully remain ignorant because it is all too big and too devastating to believe that we might be in any way responsible for it. Easier to throw up our hands and blame the political system, lobbyists, and the media for the farce that our national government has become. Well it's our fault. We elected Republicans who started this war and we elected Democrats who refused to get us out. We all own it.

I wish there was a pithy or clean way to end this but it's really this simple: this week, what I remember is that people are being killed and tortured in my name and I have not done much to stop it.

Value

2007-05-22T21:13:00.000-07:00

More document review. Fun fact learned while reviewing budget documents: the firm charges more per hour for my time than this particular client charges per hour for an entire oil drilling rig, including the four man operating team.

I know I have mad legal skills and all but I still think that's ri-goddamn-diculous.

End of the Week

2007-05-17T21:42:00.000-07:00

Back from New Jersey. Newark: just as hellish looking as it appears in your mind. Ten minutes outside of Newark: rolling hills, lots of trees, and general bucolic pleasantness. We spent the week in the pretty part of the state, but we are also in a drab conference room all day every day. Made it into NYC for beer, fish and chips, and general wandering/loitering. First time back since 2005. Lots of excellent memories from that summer with Mrs. Underground, so it was fun to have those roll back as I meandered through the mildly familiar streets in Hell's Kitchen. (Side note: Why is it called Hell's Kitchen? It's decided un-hellish these days, so the name just sounds touristy and made up.)

The pro bono hearing did not happen because the judge never showed up. We showed up to find a note stuck to the locked courtroom door: "Judge [REDACTED] is not here today. All hearings scheduled for today have received a continuance. You will receive notice of your new hearing date in the mail." This is a considerable relief because the more time we get, the better things are for my client in family court and also because I am now 2 for 2 in immigration court when it comes to motions for continuance. Sure this one was continued because the judge didn't show up and not because of my (brilliant!) unopposed, two sentence motion for continuance, but I'll take what I can get at this point.

Yikes

2007-05-08T18:21:00.000-07:00

Work is busy. Lots of doc review. Off to scenic northern New Jersey for more doc review next week.

My pro bono case just got more exciting than I bargained for. The prosecutor said she is going to call my client to testify at our next hearing. It's immigration--not criminal--court and there's no reason to take the 5th, so I'm probably going to get to defend her against live cross examination which is sweet because I've never even been to a deposition, to say nothing of ever having defended one. And now I get to defend a real person in a (sorta) real court against real cross-examination.

My only consolation is that the dispositive ruling in this case will be in state family court, not immigration court (hooray for complex and impossible federal administrative regulations that require orders from two different federal agencies and one state court!), so I can't screw things up too badly if I totally mess up at the hearing.

So BigLaw is currently a boring vehicle that allows me to do interesting, difficult (and terrifying!) work on the side. Plus, I get to use official BigLaw stationary so I look intimidating when I send letters to opposing counsel, right?

A Letter

2007-04-16T23:46:00.000-07:00

Dear Astros fans who were at Minute Maid Park this evening,

Please refrain from doing the ~~waive~~ wave while the home team is batting in a crucial, two-out, bases loaded situation with the game tied. Noise and cheering: good. 31,000 people moving en mass within the batter's field of vision: bad.

Sincerely,
A fellow fan

UPDATE: As Divisadero so subtly pointed out, I may be spending too much time with legal memos and briefs. On the other hand, seeing 31,000 people voluntarily relinquish their legal rights isn't that thrilling because we've already seen 300,000,000 people do it relatively recently.

The Next Level

2007-04-12T19:31:00.000-07:00

I've previously written (joked) that my legal skills were Matlockian.

Well, like the Pixies, now I'm gonna sing the Perry Mason theme, because I am unbeatable in minor, non-dispositive (but binding!) rulings. I spent about 55 hours in one week writing a motion to compel the return of an inadvertently produced document: granted. Along the same lines, I wrote a motion opposing the Defendants' motion to compel our production of the same memo. Defendants' motion: denied. In my pro bono case I asked for . . . a motion for a continuance: granted. HELL YEAH! Six more weeks! Woo!

Purveyors of injustice fear my wrath for I will eke out small victories and bleed you slowly like a tick.

Will Oldham

2007-04-12T19:24:00.000-07:00

He's recorded under a number of different band names, in addition to eponymous albums. I've only got two, Viva Last Blues and Arise Therefore. Viva Last Blues is my album of the moment. Listened to it twice each of the last two days. Low key for the most part, cryptic at times, but gets better with each listen. Some albums become instant favorites for me; this one took time. It's been time well spent, however. Cannot recommend it highly enough.

Children, Children

2007-03-26T19:31:00.000-07:00

Going through transcripts of discovery hearings. Just finished reading a multi-page argument between three lawyers and a magistrate about the color of ink that the defendants' had to use to stamp "Confidential" on their documents. They seriously fought over whether it should be red, black, or blue. Once they "agreed," there were all sorts of petty, passive-aggressive comments by each side: "Well in federal court they always use red" "I guess if he wants to be liable for any mistakes, that's his choice." Picture children fighting over a box of crayons and you've basically got the right idea.

Maybe it's time to look into appellate work.

Geeked

2007-03-22T21:41:00.000-07:00

Texas Supreme Court oral arguments are now available as webcasts.

I'm way more excited about this than I should be.

Procedural Doc Review

2007-03-22T21:17:00.000-07:00

Doc review. It happens. It's a pretty normal part of the life of the young litigation associate at BigLaw. I've done plenty, and I honestly don't mind it that much because it chews up a lot of hours, is not results-oriented (meaning you don't have to keep searching Westlaw to find the "right" answer), and generally requires almost no thought.

I'm doing doc review tonight, in fact (from home!). Tonight, however, it's special. A new breed of doc review, at least for me. The real doc review is done. The literally millions of documents have been sorted and tagged for responsiveness and privilege. The privilege log is literally thousands of pages long with close to ten thousand entries. I'm reviewing the log itself. Checking each entry to see if it might run afoul of the plaintiff's objections. I've never seen the actual documents and I probably never will. My entire job is to make sure each entry is arguably privileged based on the basic facts: author, recipient, and description. It's turning out to require a lot more thinking than I thought it would. For example, if there's a single attorney in the "To:" field, does that make it privileged? What about a single attorney in the "CC:" field? What about multiple attorneys in each when the total recipient list is hundreds of names long? What about when its sent from the client to a list of 50 names, one of which is in-house counsel at co-defendant with whom we share a joint defense privilege? Each is a step removed from the traditional confidential communication between a lawyer and a client that forms the basis of the privilege, but it's difficult to decide exactly which step brings something outside the protection of the privilege. Am I enjoying this? I'll admit it; the law nerd in me likes thinking about each case I've read on the subject (literally dozens of them in the past few weeks) and arguing both sides in my head.

This is why people who think all law should be based on bright-line rules live in a fantasy world.

Friday Neighborhood Blogging

2007-03-16T20:22:00.000-07:00

Townhouse development going up a few blocks away. For just $280,000 you too can have a spectacular view of your neighbor's life. L.B. Jefferies would be thrilled.

A Good Sign

2007-03-14T17:48:00.000-07:00

Rode the elevator in the parking garage with one of the partners at work. He rode all the way to the top (where spots are much cheaper) and drove away in a mid-90s Honda Accord. Considering the fact that some of my fellow associates drive Porches, I found this very refreshing.

A Bad Sign?

2007-03-14T17:38:00.000-07:00

I've filled out a few brackets. No money riding on them, just pride. One of them has the same final two and eventual champion as noted prognosticator . . . Mrs. Bill Simmons.

Mature, Reasonable People

2007-03-12T20:23:00.000-07:00

Houston has no zoning. As everyone who sat through Barbri knows, the way to enforce standards in neighborhoods with no zoning is deed restrictions and protective covenants. If you stop enforcing those covenants, however, they come to an end. And so in Houston we have serious, hardcore neighborhood associations that are charged with enforcing the restrictions and covenants.

So yesterday I got a call from our neighbors/friends who serve as the "block captains" for the neighborhood association. One of the other residents--who requested anonymity--complained about the quantity of leaves in the gutter in front of our house. So I shoveled the leaves out of the gutter on a public street to stay in the good graces of the anonymous neighbor even though I was pretty sure no restriction or covenant required that I keep the street clean. The leaves come from a 57 year-old tree in our front yard. It's a live oak, which means it stays green and leafy year round and also loses leaves year round. That means there has been some quantity of leaves or another sitting in the gutter for 57 years. That tree is probably going to outlive every single person currently living on the street, and it will drop leaves every single day.

As most of you know, I'm a lawyer. And I'm not very busy at work these days. Much to my surprise, I found that my neighborhood's deed restrictions require that I keep the gutters in front of my lot "clean and free of unsightly obstacles . . . in accordance with City Ordinances." TMNA Deed Restr. art. IV.S (2002). And now the only skill I learned in law school comes into play: shepardizing. What happens when I check those City Ordinances? I now know that the City Ordinance requiring gutters to be kept clear of leaves and lawn clippings was repealed by Ordinance No. 01-800, s.4. Houston City Ords. s. 47-33. So I know that if I want to be a punkass like my anonymous neighbor, at least I've got the law on my side.

Music

2007-03-09T19:28:00.000-08:00

I've been on a binge. In the last couple of weeks I've added the following to my iPod: The Crane Wife (Decembrists), Funeral (The Arcade Fire), Falling Out (Peter Bjorn and John), A Certain Trigger (Maximo Park), Live from Austin, TX (Johnny Cash), A Weekend in the City (Bloc Party), Young Liars (TV on the Radio), The Lemonheads (The Lemonheads), The Concrete's Always Grayer on the Other Side of the Street (Vietnam), Friend Opportunity (Deerhoof).

I'm pretty late coming to most of these bands, so they might be old (but good!) news to the folks out there reading this. Some of these came as recommendations from others and others I happened across for various reasons. They're all good in different ways.

I'd only recommend The Concrete's Always Grayer if you want some seriously downbeat and downtrodden 70s-style rock (think Lou Reed and a large quantity of heroin), but they do what they do very well. They opened for the Lemonheads (which was bizarre), but they were actually really good live. Didn't really see that coming, and didn't expect them to play long, driving, up-tempo rock, either.

Falling Out is pop music. Three guys, harmonies, and northern European sounds and lyrics. What's not to like?

Friend Opportunity is very different than a lot of the other stuff I like because it's not particularly harmonious or melodic, but it's growing on me. Jangly, so syncopated it almost sounds off-beat. I like it. "The Perfect Me" is completely badass and "+81" is rockabilly noise-rock. I'm smiling just thinking about it . . . and now I'm listening to it. God bless computers.

I'm pretty sure I'm going to run out and buy the rest of TV on the Radio's catalog, so that's probably a pretty good endorsement for Young Liars. They're rock music. That doesn't really cover it, but it's a start. The singer's got a different, pretty cool voice. Plus, there's a Pixies cover, and that's almost always a good thing. There's a lot of sound. Not sure how else to describe them.

A Certain Trigger is great Brit-pop-rock. It's not particularly original, but it doesn't sound tired. Like The Lemonheads, they seem to make what could be formulaic and annoying really good and fresh. Nice layered sound and changes-0f-pace.

The Lemonheads is by The Lemonheads. It's poppy, earnest, and excellent. The three Lemonheads albums I've got are all variations on this and they're all great.

A Weekend in the City is more Brit-pop. Almost shades into dance music at times, but with real instruments and real talent. Slick production, forgettable lyrics (for now), but good stuff. Driving. "Hunting for Witches" is awesome.

You don't have to love Johnny Cash, but if you don't at least like him you may quietly go to hell and we won't talk about it again. I think his voice is transcendent, but his range of tastes and styles ought to be enough for anyone to at least like him a little bit. This is him performing on Austin City Limits. I miss Austin considerably.

Funeral is operatic, heart-on-your-sleeve, wall-of-sound pop. As others have noted, I'm sentimental. I also like musical theater. And pop music. I fucking love this album. Why did I wait a couple of years to buy it? Why are you waiting to buy it? "Neighborhood 3 - Power Out" is just asking to be the soundtrack for an awkward emo-kid, Beck-style, herky-jerky dance.

The Crane Wife is most definitely my favorite album right now. I listened to it three times yesterday and twice today. I sing it to my daughter (even though I really, really can't sing). Excellent in so many ways. Catchy as hell, gorgeous melodies, nice harmonization, and fantastic musicianship. If you've ever liked any of the music I like, you will almost certainly like this. The songs constantly run through my head and, rather than annoying me, it makes me want to go right to the computer and play them again.

Recommendations?

The Lemonheads

2007-02-09T20:34:00.000-08:00

First live music in quite awhile and in a most unlikely place: the Scout Bar in Clear Lake, Texas (upcoming shows include: Winger (all original members), Vanilla Ice, and Testament (all original members)). Clear Lake is a rather dismal suburb of Houston where, for obvious reasons, the dry cleaners are all "Space Cleaners" and the florists are all "NASA Florist.com" or some variation thereof.

Though not as big a fan of the band as some, It's a Shame About Ray has a special place in my heart and my music catalog. It was the second CD I ever bought and the first album I put on repeat and listened to over-and-over for hours on end. I don't know why I didn't buy Come On Feel when it come out, but I have a vague suspicion that it relates to a girl, who I did not like, who appeared to worship Evan Dando. Worse than being a sellout (which Come on Feel is not), Dando was a Tiger Beat sweetheart loved by the Alternative Girl. It wasn't Dando's fault, but I drifted in a different direction (I thought) and found a Spin Magazine sweetheart of my very own, Juliana Hatfield, who, it turns out, had been Evan Dando's sweetheart. The tangled web of fifteen-year-old love and allegiance (which, in some ways continues at twenty-eight; I'm up to twelve Juliana LPs and EPs). I randomly ended up with a copy of Car Button Cloth (HT: Bob LaBlog) in college or shortly thereafter but only listened to it a couple of times until recently.

So Thursday night was a bit strange because it brought back a number of memories and I couldn't really decide why I wanted to go to the show so badly. I wanted to see some music, I wanted to spend time with my brother, I wanted to get out for a night, but I also wanted to see the Lemonheads. I think because they take me so far back and are mildly--but not intimately--intertwined with a number of my memories and some important cultural and personal touchstones in my life. Skipping a stone shallowly across the last fifteen years,rather than really jumping right in. That's about all I need right now and the Lemonheads fit the bill.

The show itself was great. Dando was on top of things and he played basically all of It's a Shame About Ray, which was nice for a dilettante like me. The crowd was pretty small and completely random, which should be expected in a city that produces randomness. There were quite a few teeny-bopper looking girls, a couple of older women who looked kind of like transvestites, and a slew of people my age running the gamut from pure hipster to corporate defense lawyer. My favorite moment of the night was probably catching a glimpse of a muscled-out frat looking dude with a chinstrap whose demeanor screamed "I WILL FUCK YOU UP IF YOU LOOK AT MY WOMAN," singing along to "Frank Mills." You know, the song from the musical Hair. Worth a smile and a nice little cliched thought about music being a universal language. The drummer--who I think is John Kent, formerly of Radish--was flat-out incredible. He didn't make it look easy, but it wasn't a struggle for him either. It's how I imagine Mitch Mitchell must have looked when he was playing "Fire." Mesmerizing. Every song was great and Dando seemed to be into it, even though the crowd was a mixed bag. A lot of standing around, but also the completely bizarre guys behind me who air-drummed along to every song and then screamed "Fuckin' A!" at the end of every song. All around a fantastic night and another understated, Lemonheads-based addition to my favorite memories.

Gimme Non-fiction

2007-02-02T19:14:00.000-08:00

I just finished Norwegian Wood by Haruki Murakami (thanks, Divisadero). It was excellent. I don't read fiction that often and I think I finally figured out why while reading this book. I loved it as soon as I started reading but I found I hesitated to pick it back up and keep reading once I got deep into the story. The more I thought about it, the more I realized it was because I had grown so attached to the characters and I empathized with them so much. I worried about the end of the book and what it would bring for each of the characters. I never get that way when I read history or biography, even though the people are real and the death and horror that they face is real. I worry more about the totally made up characters in fiction than I do about the real live people in non-fiction. That was a strange realization.

I suppose it's because I basically know what's going to happen to the people in non-fiction books, I just don't know the details. In fiction, something good could happen or something bad could happen; I just don't know either way. And that's the problem. I can't convince myself that, to the characters, it doesn't matter either way because they don't really exist. I wonder what will happen to them and that not knowing is what makes me hesitate to keep reading. It makes no sense. The characters don't exist. And yet, some part of my brain says that if I stop reading things will stay the way they are and thus things will be OK in the characters' lives. This leads to the crazy result where, on the one hand, my brain cares so deeply for these characters that I want them to be happy as if they are real and, on the other hand, my brain decides not to keep reading so that nothing bad ever happens to them, as if they aren't real and as if their lives would just stop if I stopped reading. But, if, as the other half of my brain seems to think, the characters are real enough to evoke my own emotions, how could I just stop their lives? That's not how reality works. So what is it brain? Is it just some made up world that I can stop and start at will? Or is it somehow real and that's why it pains me to keep reading sometimes? Is this what makes fiction so compelling? There's never a dull moment in a good book because I'm fighting a little war with myself. I've never not finished a good book because I was so worried about a horrific ending for the characters. I think that means my (morbid?) curiosity always gets the better of my empathy.

Life is Good

2007-01-26T22:05:00.000-08:00

Work In Progress

2007-01-26T20:50:00.000-08:00

Is it too early to feel left out and like I could sort of disappear from the office and no one would notice that I'd left? I know, I'm a first year associate and my work is probably crap and I've got to pay my dues. And for a while I was quite willing to do that and would have if given the chance. For the better part of two months, however, I really haven't had a damn thing to do other than document review . . . and I had to go out of my way and ASK to do document review. I'm assigned to a couple of cases and I get work on them from time to time, but I have to draw it out as long as possible so I can get in my required seven hours per day. I figured they would kill me with work, I didn't count on being bored to death. Is anyone else finding this to be their experience at Biglaw?

Duncan Kennedy wrote an essay about law school as training to become a part of the corporate hierarchy. He focuses on the social roles and pedagogical methods used and how they parallel life as a lawyer. I agree that law school is training to become a part of the corporate hierarchy, I'm just not sure that I mean it in the same way as Kennedy. During the very few weeks where I've been busy at work, I think what law school--and law review especially--really trains you to do is subordinate yourself and your desires in the service of something abstract and deceptively precise. I taught myself to study and study and study and cite-check and cite-check and cite-check and to be pissy and bored with it and yet to keep doing it in the service of grades or to make sure everything was in proper Bluebook format. There wasn't any real substantive purpose behind either of those goals; they were a means to an end. They were a way to define success, even when you knew, deep down, that it didn't really mean anything, and yet you killed yourself to do it. You did it because you would graduate and do something worthwhile. Even if it wasn't going to be saving the wrongly convicted or helping the poor, it would still be interesting and meaningful to someone. As an undergrad, I just wasn't like that. I did fine, but if reading my notes twice wasn't enough preparation for an exam, well, I just wasn't going to do well on the exam and that was that and it didn't bother me. And now I'm at Biglaw. I work on cases that I don't know the first thing about and I try to tell myself that the client, whoever they may be since I have never seen or spoken to them, cares about the case. But do they? Isn't the client some giant corporation filled with worker-bees just like me who just keep on doing whatever the hell they're doing and would do something else if what they're doing now dried up?

I'm practicing law. It's what I do. That makes me a lawyer and, I thought, it would make me feel different than when I was a worker-bee in an office killing time until 5:00. I guess I do feel a little different than when I had other office jobs, but I still feel like I did in law school. Work feels like a struggle for something concrete, when I know that, deep down, there's really nothing there. Law is superficially logical, there's something you can grasp on to and understand when you glance at it. And then you dig and you think about it and it's all mush. There's nothing to it but one opinion after another. And I mean opinion in both senses of the word. We should spend more time thinking about the fact that the law is a series of opinions and we cobble them together and call them justice. We might as well throw together a bunch of editorials and call it justice. Those, after all, are opinions too. And so, just like in law school, I'm researching and writing and (still) cite-checking in the service of something that has a facade of abstract precision. I research to find a particular answer and then I try to craft a memo explaining that answer. This is what I went to law school for. This is why I put up with all the BS and the late nights and the cite-checking, so I could graduate and do something real, something more than just the abstract meaninglessness of grades. And yet practicing law feels exactly the same. I find that the law, in practice, can mean anything you want it to mean since it is, after all, a series of opinions. And since it can mean anything, it means nothing.

So this is what it means when your professors say they are teaching you to think like a lawyer. They are teaching you to think about something abstract and made-up and asking you to pretend that it is logical and that you should respect it even more than you respect yourself. You should subordinate yourself in the service of that thing, whatever it is. In law school they paper over the emptiness of grades with the theoretical majesty of the law. And then you get out in practice and what is there to paper over the emptiness of the reality of the practice of law? I really don't know. But I was taught, and taught well, to give a part of myself to that emptiness.

I am thankful for Eleanor and Mrs. Underground because they fill me up and keep that emptiness from taking anything from me. I thought I wanted a job I could be passionate about. What I've got is a job so hollow it allows all of my passion and drive to remain at home. Biglaw, like any big corporate enterprise I imagine, has tempted me to believe that there's something important or meaningful about its structure and its place in the world. I'm just grateful that my wife and daughter have taught me otherwise. There's so much joy in the small randomness of Eleanor. There's nothing abstract about her. She just is, and there's so much there for me to learn.

All of this is a long way of saying that the practice of law, for me, turns out to be just another job. I don't doubt that there are a lot of lawyers out there who do amazing, important, and worthwhile things, I just don't count myself among them right now.

A Magical Moment in Time

2007-01-14T22:38:00.000-08:00

I know ESPN and CNNSI both strive to produce psuedo-hip, cringe-inducing headlines for their stories, but who could have imagined that, for tonight at least, their web page editors would both be fans of strained metaphors and mid-90s psuedo-artsy-alterna-rock.

I would have gone with "Schottenheimer's Winning 'Placentage' Falls to the Floor," but that's just me.

Bruce!

2007-01-13T21:56:00.000-08:00

This is clearly the best ad on television right now. We've got DVR so we basically don't watch any commercials anymore, but I will stop and watch this one. The one giant ship in the background is understated genius. I'm already a consumer of Old Spice products (anti-perspirant and body wash), but this commercial makes me want to wear real Old Spice everyday. I think that's exactly what I need to do to stand out from the pack at work.

Happy New Year

2007-01-01T08:58:00.000-08:00

-Aunt Erin's sartorial sense combined with Uncle Fun's photoshop skills.

Sports

2006-12-31T23:17:00.000-08:00

I watched two English Premier League games over the past two days. I changed the channel from a college football bowl game (not a good bowl game, but still) to watch Fulham tie Chelsea 2-2. I knew the final score before I watched the game thanks to Deadspin, but I still found the match more interesting than that particular college game. I actually planned my evening tonight around Sheffield United v. Arsenal (a replay, but I didn't know the score, so it was live as far as I was concerned) and was pretty much riveted the entire time. The commentators said Sheffield was a huge underdog and yet they won a really tight game that got entertainingly muddled and crazy at the end. I'm kind of bored with American football at this point because all of my teams are done for the year. Not having Vince Young in the playoffs is also a major let down. He's the only reason I went to a Texans game this year, and, at least for the foreseeable future, is probably the only reason I will go see any more Texans games.

For now, I'm looking forward to February (college baseball begins) and April (MLS and MLB begin).

People Watching

2006-12-31T22:41:00.000-08:00

Mrs. Underground, Eleanor, and I went to the Galleria today to people watch. The place was packed and the crowd was pleasantly diverse. The more time I spend in Houston, the more I love it, especially because of what a patch-work it is, both as a city and as a population. There's no zoning here, and our neighborhood reflects it. On my jogs, I run past $700K homes; a run down apartment complex; lots of little old bungalows and shotgun shacks; brand new, hyper-modern lofts, auto repair facilities, and an SPJST Hall. I could do without the violent crime at the apartment complex, but the rest makes for such a great mix. The elementary schools in our area are over 80% Hispanic, and most of the signs on businesses are in English and Spanish. The crowd at the Galleria reflects this mix; I counted five or six Chivas jerseys, three or four Club America jerseys . . . and one Texans jersey.

My Daughter is Cooler Than Me

2006-12-25T21:03:00.000-08:00

Not that I thought this wouldn't happen, but I didn't expect it so soon. For Christmas, a friend of Eleanor's Grandmother (!!) got her RocaWear clothes. Yes, those RocaWear clothes. The ones designed by Jay-Z.

For now, Eleanor's limited dexterity means it will be me brushing the dirt off her shoulder.

Friday Cat Blogging

2006-12-01T21:17:00.000-08:00

-Celis can melt solid steel WITH HER EVIL KITTEN EYES!

The Lege is Coming!

2006-12-01T19:35:00.000-08:00

Texas has a new state-wide business tax that is no longer optional like the old one. According to the Statesman, service-oriented business like law firms will be hit harder than capital-intensive businesses like oil companies. The article also notes, however, that the new tax, like the old one, contains a "mistake" in that it does not cover limited liability partnerships. As someone who worked in one of the representative's offices who helped draft the tax, I can assure you that certain groups lobbied very hard to keep LLPs out.

I'm not sure how the article missed the obvious point here: almost all law firms are LLPs. It doesn't matter how labor intensive their revenues are because, as LLPs, they are exempt from the tax.

I also assume at this point that if the Lege, without amending the state constitution, does change the tax to cover LLPs, there will be a lawsuit filed the next day. If I remember Loftus Carson's lectures correctly, LLPs do not have separate identities like corporations; they are made up of individuals (someone correct me if I'm wrong). Any revenue that comes in belongs to the partners themselves, so any tax on that revenue is, at least arguably, a tax on the partners' income. An income tax is currently unconstitutional in Texas. My guess is that the Lege could make a minor modification to the law governing LLPs to make clear that only surplus (after expenses) revenue is income to the partners. This would leave a large chunk of LLP revenue eligible to be taxed. I also guess, however, that the Lege wouldn't dare do such a thing because it would make it pretty clear that they were attempting to pass a form of income tax.

Q for Question

2006-12-01T17:55:00.000-08:00

Is Tom Vilsack trying to tell us something?

Turkey Day

2006-11-29T18:47:00.000-08:00

I am become cute, destroyer of frowns!

Underground = Matlockian

2006-11-19T20:08:00.000-08:00

The hearing went well. The judge ruled on four of our motions in limine. He granted three of them. I wrote the briefs for two of them and he granted both of those (I did not argue them). That makes me 2-0 on non-dispositive, non-binding rulings! Sure he can overturn those rulings at trial, but I'm going to bask in them for a bit.

We flew back to Houston that afternoon and I got sworn in. It's official. I'm a lawyer.

And I'm 2-0! I should retire now, it's all gonna be downhill from here.

I will take your ass to court . . .

2006-11-14T18:27:00.000-08:00

. . . for a rather sedate pretrial hearing dealing mostly with motions in limine. That's right, Thursday is my first day in court as an actual lawyer . . . though the hearing will make me miss the swearing in ceremony at work so I won't technically be admitted to the bar yet. I won't get to say a word, but I did write a couple of the motions and one of the response briefs that will be argued. I'll admit it: I'm excited. There was a time (8 weeks ago) when I never wanted to leave the office because researching, writing, and staring out the window seemed pleasant and dull and satisfying. I never wanted to go to court because it seemed too intimidating, there was too much at stake. But now I'm ready and excited about it. I like the idea that something more than the partner's ire is riding on my work at this point. It makes it seem more valuable.

Dammit

2006-10-27T20:34:00.000-07:00

So basketball starts next week, right?

It's a TLR kind of day

2006-10-25T22:17:00.000-07:00

I got a call from a fellow TLR alum (also a former articles editor) about a mutual boss who constantly corrects the apostrophe placement on possessive nouns and pretty much always does so incorrectly. We conferred and determined that we were right, but I did learn something new. It's permissible--but not required--to include a " 's " at the end of nouns that end with the "ess" sound. So you can properly use Texas' or Texas's but you cannot properly use Illinois', it must be Illinois's. Fascinating, right? It gets better. A proper possessive form of conscience is conscience' because it ends with an "ess" sound even though it doesn't actually end with the letter "s." It all brings back fond memories of nights spent agonizing in the TLR office over whether I had properly abbreviated all of the terms in Table 6.

Come home and what is waiting? Why it's my hardcover Volume 84 edition with my name and title engraved on the spine.

Present and Accounted for

2006-10-18T19:02:00.000-07:00

Still alive.

Work is still very busy, but Mrs. Underground and Eleanor make coming home a pleasure every night. Eleanor is taking baths now and I get to come home and help her splash around in her baby tub and then give her a bottle before bed. Even one year ago I couldn't have told you that nothing in the world would be more rewarding than that. I wondered how much I would miss going out, seeing bands, going to movies, etc. after having a baby. The truth is that I don't miss it because I never even think about. We go do stuff on weekends but right now I'm quite literally happy holding Eleanor and watching the grass grow in the front yard. It's something that has to be experienced and I certainly recommend it to everyone I know. A great friend told me in August that "there's nothing more hopeful than a young family." I have never been so hopeful or relaxed than I am now. I have shifting and constant deadlines at work, and I just can't get worked up about them anymore. Now I don't recommend having a baby just to relieve stress at work, but it has worked wonder for me. Eleanor causes her share of stressful moments, but it's a different kind of stress. A healthy stress to make sure she's OK, not an artificially imposed stress from an unhappy boss. I still can't really believe I have a baby. This post has no real point and it is shading into cliche, but I guess having a baby will do that to you. Out for now.

Hot Damn!

2006-09-26T20:34:00.000-07:00

The Astros are only 1 1/2 games behind the Cardinals. They somehow figured out how to play baseball over the last week: moving guys over, scoring when we need to, coming from behind . . . things a real baseball team would do.

I will not get too excited. I will not get too excited. I will not . . . but we're playing the freakin' Pirates the next two nights and the Cards are playing the desperately-in-need-of-wins-and-playing-well-lately Padres! Nonetheless, I will not get too excited.

It might be time to break out Eleanor's Astros outfit on an everyday basis.

A Deep Breath

2006-09-22T21:18:00.000-07:00

Work has begun and is completely exhausting. People who I know who are clerking: continue clerking as long as humanly possible. It's not the 11 hour days that suck, it's having three bosses who don't talk to one another. I'm among the least busy of the new associates, and yet I feel like I'm drowing already. I'm sure (read: hoping and praying) I'll get used to it and it will seem normal eventually, but it's not much fun right now.

The rest of life is good. Eleanor is good, Mrs. Underground is good. I don't get to spend a lot of time at home right now, but I've been able to leave work at work for the most part, so home is a great refuge and something to look forward to at the end of the day.

The work itself is OK, but I find myself becoming more libertarian if only because the sheer volume of bullshit laws out there is mind boggling. I used to like the 21st Amendment because it ended Prohibition. Turns out it also gave the states plenary power over alcoholic beverage shipments into their states so we end up with a mishmash of contradictory protectionist laws that protect local beer distributors. Unfortunately Americans like their uniformly inoffensive macro-brews, so we have brewers that sell nationwide and have to deal with all of these conflicting laws. I wrote a treatise on piercing the corporate veil in five different states before I realized that's not really what the question was in this case. Somebody's out $2000 for that mistake and it's going to take me an entire day to fix it. I guess this is all part of the learning curve and I know they don't charge clients the full price for our work because we're so inexperienced, but I still feel a bit guilty when I read the same set of instructions for the gajillionth time and run the same Westlaw search and find myself at the same dead end. I actually feel bad because of the $2000 that my misunderstanding cost a multinational corporation with revenues in the billions. Who says corporate lawyers are heartless?

Behold!

2006-09-02T20:24:00.000-07:00

The Astros are 1-1 when she wears this outfit, meaning they could probably win the wildcard in the weak NL if she wore this outfit everyday for the next month. Mrs. Underground is likely to object to this course of action.

Secure enough in her femininity to wear blue.

I know she's a girl and all, but getting her first tutu at four weeks seemed a bit premature.

Yeah, she's pretty damn cute.

Command Performance

2006-09-02T18:53:00.000-07:00

Work is looming on Tuesday. I'm excited to be getting back in a routine, but I also wonder whether big firm life is for me. I'm guessing every single other person I know going to work at a big firm is feeling the same way. At least we're all ambivalent together.

Eleanor is great. She sleeps a lot, mostly during the day. Last week her average time to go to bed for the night was about 8:00 AM. So that's been a little rough on the sleep schedule, but she's definitely worth it. She spends her waking hours doing what babies do: pooping, demanding milk, and staring for long periods of time at shiny objects. Somehow, this never gets old to watch.

She can hold her head up now which is a big development. This makes riding in the car significantly less stressful (for me). Before her head would flop to the side and I couldn't really see it in the mirror and I always figured she was suffocating or something. The constant fear that she will just randomly stop breathing has subsided somewhat, but I still find myself reading the stats on SIDS over and over and over just to reassure myself (happens in only .07% of babies, even less when you breastfeed and don't smoke). We had a very minor car accident yesterday which was not so terrifying until I remembered that I had a five-week old baby in the back. She never even woke up from her nap and there was no danger of anyone getting hurt (minor scrape and dent on the door from car going about 5 mph), but my hands were still shaking while I tried to take down the other guy's insurance information. Being a dad has definitely brought me a lot of peace and made me calmer in some ways, but I find that my stress level can rocket up tremendously when something strange or unexpected happens with Eleanor. This is definitely something I'll need to work on as she will undoubtedly do many strange or unexpected things during her lifetime.

The best thing in my life right now is the fact that Eleanor has started to smile. My mom told me that when this happened I would find myself doing anything to try to make her smile more, and I do. So what makes her smile the most lately? Her own farts. Move over Hilary, my girl's already got what it takes to be president. I'd like to say I don't find this entertaining, but it cracks me up everytime.

College football is back and I didn't really realize how much I loved it until I got the chance to spend an entire afternoon watching it again. Good times and a great set of games this weeked. Some thoughts:

Reggie Ball is still in college? He's got to have a doctorate by now, right?
The Dan Hawkins era is not off to an auspicious start at Colorado.
Texas looked about like they should have looked, I don't know that we really learned anything today.

Issues Resolved

2006-08-16T19:37:00.000-07:00

We love our 52-year-old house, but it has ancient cable TV lines and so no cable modem. It took three visits from Time Warner to confirm this and so we had to wait another week for AT&T to mail us a DSL modem and get that going. Looks like we are set up now and should be online more regularly.

General update: things are good. House is great, Eleanor is great, Mrs. Underground and I are doing great. Eleanor is in the colic phase right now, but she doesn't cry too much, so we are handling it OK. House is unpacked and 90% put away, still a few things here and there. Not much going on in our lives other than the baby. She keeps us busy, but we kind of expected that. Haven't had a chance to explore the neighborhood much, but the few errands I've run have made me excited about our surroundings. All sorts of local shops and restaurants to try out and plenty of biking and jogging trails.

Went to an Astros game today. Lost 1-0 to the Cubs. Just brutal, but it was fun to be at the ballpark with my dad and brother. Eleanor is still a little young for a crowd that loud and sweaty. Probably have to wait til next season before she does more than watch it with me on TV. Despite the three week absence, that's really about all that's going on with us. Hopefully I'll have more to say later.

The Incredibles Got Nothing On Us

2006-07-30T20:24:00.000-07:00

Baby Eleanor: born (and perfect)
Bar exam: completed (and passed?)
Move out of Austin: done

Time elapsed: five days. We are the Undergrounds. You cannot stop us, you can only hope to contain us.

Eleanor Lynn

2006-07-24T20:05:00.000-07:00

Born at 2:43 PM, weighing 7 pounds 13 ounces and 20 inches long. As predicted, Mrs. Underground was a rockstar. Baby and mom are doing great. Dad is OK, but a little nervous about the bar. Probably no posting until next week at the earliest.

Off we Go

2006-07-23T15:55:00.000-07:00

We're headed to the store to get some supplies and then off to the hospital. It's only about a mile from our apartment, so I'll probably come back to study tonight (no baby until tomorrow afternoon) and might post again. It appears this is really going to happen. I'm really going to be a dad. Exciting and scary. I was nervous about the bar yesterday, and had a moment of pure panic on Friday, but it's all sort of washed over me today. I've spent about an hour studying and will go over a few more things tonight and tomorrow, but mostly all I can think about is the baby. Mrs. Underground is nervous. I can only imagine. She's a rock star, though, so I know she'll be fine.

A-OK

2006-07-21T22:58:00.000-07:00

We're going to be fine. All of us bar-takers who are currently freaking out or resigned to our fates or alternating between confidence and physical illness (me). We will almost certainly all pass. Why? Because that's what we do. We've been good students and we've worked hard and we've performed under pressure in the past. The bar is no different . . . except that we only need pass, not excel.

Look over at your boyfriend/girlfriend/wife/husband/pet/friend/family member and realize that even on your worst day, even if you fail the bar, they will be there for you. And if they're not, they are the ones with the problem. The bar is the ultimate means to an end, anyone who makes it an end unto itself will fail at life, regarldless of how they do on the bar. I know what matters today, and it's the same things that will matter on July 29th.

Kid A Update

2006-07-21T13:39:00.000-07:00

Doctor's visit today. Some changes, but not much. We go to the hospital on Sunday at 7 pm to start the inducing process and should have a baby by 3 or 4 pm on Monday. I can't wait. I've been looking forward to this to the point of distraction and am really hoping the stress from the bar won't overwhelm the enjoyment of the experience.

All in the Timing

2006-07-18T16:14:00.000-07:00

Doctor's visit today. Nothing has changed. Back to the doc on Friday. If no baby by then they will begin inducing stuff on Sunday night and then actually administering the drugs on Monday morning. This means we should have a baby on Monday afternoon. If the Monday round of drugs doesn't work (and sometimes it doesn't) they will have to try again on Wednesday because it's not safe for the baby to stay in longer than that according to the doc. The bar? That's on Tuesday, Wednesday, and Thursday. Rock.

It's cool though, because the movers aren't coming until Friday, so things will be nice and calm by them.

Reluctant or Stubborn?

2006-07-17T22:23:00.000-07:00

The baby was due yesterday (Monday), but there is no baby yet. Just like little Adelina, Baby Underground has (warning, bar joke ahead) overstayed its tenancy-for-years and is now holding on as a tenant-at-sufferance.

I will try to post as we head to the hospital.

Not Recommended:

2006-07-16T22:26:00.000-07:00

Visiting the dorm where you lived as an undergrad nine years ago. The day before your first baby is due. To get food while taking a break from studying for the bar exam. So you can become a corporate defense lawyer.

The passage of time is mostly theoretical; it happens while I'm busy and I only think of it in a few idle moments here and there. I think the business of everyday life is a defense against noticing the reality of just how quickly time has passed. I don't want to have so much time condensed and presented to me while I'm eating a turkey sandwich. The confluence of so many things all at once made concrete all that happened and didn't happen over the last nine years. It's all too much for an otherwise dull Sunday afternoon. Everything hits at once, indeed.

Moments like this are a bit chilling, but I'm warmed by some of those same things that hit so suddenly: I'm married and I'm going to have a child very soon. No plan I thought of or could have imagined nine years ago would have placed me here at this moment, but I am happy nonetheless. I think there's a lesson in that.

Good News? Not so Much

2006-07-16T21:53:00.000-07:00

The Sunnis in Iraq now say they want us there. That's good news right? The people of Iraq want us there. Vindication for the invasion and the overthrow of Saddam; finally recognition by the people that the U.S.'s presence is desired and useful. Wait, why do they want us there? To protect them from . . . the majority of the Iraqis, the Shiites who are using control of large miltias and government agencies to massacre and otherwise oppress Sunnis.

Great, so the disenfranchised minority in a volatile country wants us to keep our army there to protect them from the well-armed majority in a budding civil war. Picking sides in a civil has worked out so well in the past, we really ought to do it again.

Is pullout the answer? I don't think so. We owe these people something because we have made their relatively fucked up country into an ungovernable cesspool because of our invasion. What do we owe them? I don't know. Enough troops to keep things secure would be a good start, but that's never going to happen. All we have in place now is a group large enough to a target for people's hatred because U.S. troops are always around but incapable of actually keeping the peace because there aren't enough of them. The worst of all possible outcomes. If we're going to be resented for our presence, it would be nice it were at least an effective presence.

So the point of this post is that the desire on the part of some Iraqis for a continued U.S. presence is not a good sign. It's a sign that a minority group in the country is so fearful for its survival that it is begging us to stay around and protect them. If we stay and protect them, we just made enemies with the Shiite militias. If we leave, it's open season on Sunnis and we're standing by watching another genocide that is the direct result of our negligence. I doubt the Saudis will stand by and allow their fellow Sunnis to get slaughtered, and if they step in, Iran is unlikely to stand around and watch fellow Shiites get kicked around by a foreign Sunni power. Thank goodness the rest of the Middle East is so calm these days, or we might really have a scary situation on our hands. Damnit.

On the bright side, the bar seems like a relatively minor concern amidst all this.

God Bless Free Telephones

2006-07-16T19:50:00.000-07:00

Standing in the PCL's lobby doing totally necessary bar preparation work and there's a woman talking fairly loudly on the free public phone in the lobby. She mentions that she just had a jury trial and got a "unanimous verdict of not guilty . . . pure as the driven snow." The first thing that popped into my mind: any criminal verdict, whether guilty or not guilty has to be unanimous, otherwise you have a mistrial. I fucking own the bar right now . . . as long as they forget to put real property and contracts on the MBE and Texas essays.

The woman then went on to give a detailed and thoroughly knowledgable explanation of the current political environment in Texas to whoever was on the other end of the phone. I love public places.

PS - If my above statement about Texas criminal procedure is incorrect, please refrain from bursting my precious, fragile bubble of confidence.

The Live Annoying Coffee Shops Capital of the World

2006-07-11T20:51:00.000-07:00

What the hell, Austin. What's it gonna take for you to have halfway decent coffee shops where someone can actually study?

Sure Quack's has the best espresso of the places I've been, but the music there is altogether too loud.

Seattle's Best? The carmel mocha latte dessert beverage is basically the perfect faux-espresso drink, but the background chatter is always loud and the temperature always seems to be set around 85.

JP's Java is approaching crappy coffee shop perfection with a ridiculously thick and overly sweet latte (even for a dessert-style coffee beverage), loud music, and a temperature that generally hovers in the mid-80s.

Austin Java. What can I say? Extremely obnoxious and loud crowd? Check. Music that varies from just quiet enough to be noticeable and annoying to pounding (and shitty) reggae? Check. Burnt espresso? Check. The bad iced tea? Now that's just showing off.

Ruta Maya. You make delicious coffee. You were so close to getting it all just right. Hell, you're iced tea was even good, something many places in Austin still can't do right (Waterloo Icehouse, I am looking in your direction). But then you had to let the guys come in and practice DJing on the giant PA with speakers conveniently located right next to the main grouping of table. That was awesome.

All of which is to say that I should never have looked for alternatives to Flight Path. I'm sorry Flight Path. I promise never to look at another coffee shop. And yes, I know I should just be studying at the library but the coffee shop at school closes at 1 pm and I gave up my key to the TLR office (home of free coffee 24/7), and the library is more than just a little depressing after the 7th or 8th hour there alone.

On a completely unrelated note, the bar exam has a way of uniting people across the country in a common angst that occasionally becomes a kind of glorious, symphonic rage.

The Next Logical Step

2006-07-08T16:07:00.000-07:00

The role of pitchers in baseball has become more and more specialized. Complete games by the starting pitcher used to be the standard rule, but now a starter who makes it into the seventh inning is considered more than worth the money. The closer may not be the most specialized guy in the bullpen (that would be the random 35 year-old left who comes on to face a single batter), but he certainly has the most stressful job. Brad Lidge, the Astros closer, is generally excellent . . . for the first two outs. Something snaps in him after those two outs and he starts throwing wild pitches, giving up soul-crushing home runs, and generally acting like rookie in his first game in the majors. So I am proposing that the Astros add a specialized pitcher whose job is to get the last out of the entire game. That is his only purpose. Since Lidge is the Astros closer and is, as his nickname indicates, "lights out" for those first two outs, we just need someone to finishing closing. I propose we call this pitcher the "shutter." Lidge will come on and close the door on the opposing team by getting the first two outs and then the shutter will come on to finish closing the door and make sure it is in fact shut.

This post has nothing to do with the fact that I just watched Lidge make it within one strike of ending the game only to give up a home run, put two guys on base and then give up a game-tying single. Nothing do to with that at all.

Houston Continues to Grow on Me

2006-07-04T08:33:00.000-07:00

As I've noted below, I love baseball for the game, not for the nostalgia or for what it is supposed to represent about our country. And thus I love rooting for two of the relatively modern teams in the game (Rockies and Astros) that have no storied past to rest on, just success and good baseball. The Cubs, representing the worst kind of nostalgic fan support for a terribly run franchise, continue to suck. I don't think you should give up on your franchise just because they go through a rough stretch, that's what Yankees fans do. What I do mean is that Cubs fans almost revel in their downtrodden status and yet they get all up in arms about their team losing as well. If you are going to take any "pride" in being a loser, you have no right to demand a winning team on the field. Either cast off the "Loveable Losers" label once and for all Cubs fans, or permanently shut the hell up about wanting to field a competitive team and leave Dusty Baker and his wristbands in peace as he drives your pitching staff into the ground at a high rate of speed.

Goes Down Easy . . . Just Like Strychnine

2006-07-03T15:40:00.000-07:00

I just spent about thirty minutes studying for Secured Transactions. I feel fantastic. It's all so clear and logical and concepts like chattel paper and non-possessory title goods practically define themselves! Oh how I wish the entire bar was about whether a future non-filed security interested took priority over the sale of a consumer good by a consumer who then used the proceeds to hire a hooker and give birth to a pretermitted child. Hot damn that would make my day. On the bright side, it makes Consumer Rights look about as complicated as your average Family Circus comic.

The Back Wall

2006-07-03T06:39:00.000-07:00

There are many things I'm going to miss about Austin (and you, the reader, are going to hear about them over the next few weeks/months), but the first one that comes to mind is the back wall at Waterloo Records. It sports a collection of jazz, electronica, experimental, and general pop-rock selected by the staff. This is stuff that probably has little chance of seeing the light of day otherwise. I'm going to miss the back wall because the staff are constantly selecting not just good albums and bands, but ones that I consider some of the best in my collection. I recommend every one of these albums as highly as any other album I've ever recommended to anyone.

Charm School by Bishop Allen - This is power pop at its absolute height. Two guys, two girls, simple songs, and fantastic harmonies. We played one of these songs at our wedding.

The Shining Path by Bruces - Elegant, quiet, and wistful. If you like Sparklehorse, you will love this even more. I would also compare it to My Morning Jacket, but it's much less jam-band-y and much more melancholy (without being sappy and obnoxious). Great to study or drive to.

The Loon by Tapes 'n Tapes - Don't really know where to begin on this one. Driving, anxious, rockin', but also thoughtful at times. I've listened to it in the car for a week straight and it's not even close to being old.

Only Lovers Left Alive by The Soft Set - Great pop EP. Straightforward and catchy. I also happen to be missing this CD. If a lent it to you, please return it. Thanks!

I know Houston is supposed to have good record stores, but the closest one to the new house, Cactus Records, closed a couple of months ago. Lame.

People More Exciting Than Me

2006-07-02T15:43:00.000-07:00

Everyone we know is either moving, buying a car (or both), or having their identity stolen. Thankfully, we're just having a baby.

The baby was 6.7 pounds last week, meaning it will likely be over 8 pounds at birth. Mrs. Underground is not thrilled about that. I would be unhappy as well. I think for the next baby she should take up smoking to keep the birth weight down. I know doctors frown on that, but we have a pregnancy book from the 1970s called "The Mother's Almanac" that says to "limit your smoking." So as long as she keeps it under a pack a day, the baby will probably be fine. And if it's not, I'm pretty sure we can sue someone for it.

This week is also the calm before the . . . boredom. I have to start bar studying seriously beginning Wednesday and am not looking forward to it. There are not enough cliched synonyms for boring to describe the substance that I have to memorize and then regurgitate for the next three weeks.

World Record

2006-06-28T13:55:00.000-07:00

Had a sonogram yesterday. The baby yawned while the tech was focused on its face. That has to be a record for the fastest a child has ever gotten bored with its parents: negative three weeks.

The baby is on its side, so if you rotated it counter-clockwise it would be right-side-up. The arrow is pointing at the baby's tongue and the dark area around it is the mouth.

-Bo-ring. When is it time to go to college?

Mexico v. Argentina

2006-06-24T15:15:00.000-07:00

Who to root for now? Mexico was (and will be again in 2010) my second team after the U.S., so the loss to Argentina means its time to pick a new team (which will proceed to get pounded in the next game). I want to root for Australia because their coaches style is supposed to be a bit unorthodox, but I fear my support would be the kiss of death. Same goes for Ghana. For now I guess I will have to settle for rooting against the traditional powers and hoping for some surprises along the way.

The game itself was pretty good, at least in the first half. Both teams looked crisp and Mexico was more than holding their own. The second half kind of turned into a bar fight, I guess because both teams were so fatigued. Easy passes missed, sloppy and short possessions with a rare strong attack now and then. Overtime was more of the same. Rodriguez's goal for Argentina in OT was beautiful. Even though it basically ended Mexico's run, it was hard not to admire it. Simply perfect.

The ESPN game commentators are moving from annoying to atrocious. I considered switching to Univision (despite speaking no Spanish), just because it wouldn't sound repetitive--even if it was. I'm pretty sure JP Dellacamera (ESPN's play-by-play guy for the match) is actually the name of a soundboard that is only able to play the following phrases "someone's dream will end today," "there is no longer a golden goal; we will have two fifteen-minute overtime periods and then penalty kicks," "[insert player name] lost possession; the fatigue is getting to him," "[insert young player's name here] is on a big stage here; feeling the pressure," "[insert coach here] has [insert player not playing here] on the bench, that's what coaches do; tactics." Inane and repetitive? Maybe that's why Americans hate soccer. Could we please get the excellent ESPN studio analyst to do play-by-play (I think it's Allen Hopkins, but I can't remember)?

The Astros blew a four-run lead. The sun came up. Barbri sucks. Life goes on.

. . . nor any drop to drink

2006-06-19T10:12:00.000-07:00

The good news? My dad and I fixed the A/C at the house which puts off a total system replacement for six months or so.

The bad news? This bayou is about 300 feet away from our house. At least the house will be nice and cool if it floods.

Global Update

2006-06-12T16:40:00.000-07:00

It's been forever, I know. I think that I will try to post more regularly now, but I also think the posts will be more "what's going on" than "what I'm thinking" because my friends have scattered to the far reaches of the US and posting updates is easier that writing the same email to a bunch of different people and trying to make each email seem unique. Lazy? Yes, but somehow this seems better than sending the same email CC'ed to fifteen or twenty people.

So I'm taking Barbri and as many others have noted, it sucks. But I think it's probably useful because it forces me to read for three hours every morning, even if the "reading" is really just a professor reading the stuff out loud to me. It's nice to see people from school every morning, but there's not a whole lot of interacting during the two ten-minute breaks. And yes, I rush out of there as fast as possible and sometimes leave a minute early to avoid the parking lot line. People who are annoyed by this are themselves tools. I'm pretty surprised shots haven't been fired in the parking lot as people push to get into the line out of the parking lot and some people refuse to let them in.

Our new (to us) house is awesome. We managed to break the A/C unit and it turns out not to be under warranty, so that's gonna be expensive (Hooray for taking out loans on houses you have not yet made a single payment on!). The house is 54 years old and we are only the second owners. The woman who lived there before us wanted to live there until she died because her husband had built much of the house himself. She did in fact die in the house in December, which I think is actually pretty cool (and not just because I can terrify our soon-to-be-born child by telling it that every noise he/she hears is the woman's ghost -- I'm going to be an awesome dad). The house is in west-central Houston about six miles from downtown, so my commute will be about ten minutes. That's better than my commute to school. The neighborhood is old, but lots of young couples have moved in. The best part is that only two of the great old houses have been replaced with new gentrified ones. The other neighbors we've met love the character of the neighborhood and the houses, so hopefully it will stay that way for the most part. Another cool part of the neighborhood is that there is a huge Hispanic population (but not apparently on our street that I can tell) so all the signs are in English and Spanish. I think it will be neat to live among a community on the rise both economically and politically. The schools in the area are also 80% Hispanic so hopefully our kid will learn Spanish (something Mr. and Mrs. Underground utterly failed to do), if not formally, then at least from kids in school. The public schools are not great in the area, but they are all ranked "acceptable" by the Texas Education Agency, so that makes me OK with them since I know our child will be read to constantly at home and be subjected to trips to museums and the zoo and other educational stuff just like I was as a kid. Plus, the demographics in the neighborhood are changing from elderly original owners to younger couples with kids. I'm hoping that means the schools will improve as the tax base improves (since the mostly elderly couples that lived in the area until recently were exempt from property tax increases and got larger exemptions if I remember correctly).

The baby is due July 17th and we finished our childcare class last week. I'm feeling a little more prepared than I was before the classes, but I still know it's going to be a bit overwhelming when the baby does come. We decided not to find out the sex and have stuck by that, so we are trying to pick a name for each sex. We have a girl name, but I am still not sold on any of the boy names that we've thought of. suggestions?

The World Cup was going so well until the U.S. had to go and actually play a game. What the hell? I'm still into it and still going to watch as much of it as I can, but that loss was really, really disheartening. I'm hoping to make it to a Dynamo game sometime this summer. As I predicted last fall, I'm falling for soccer. Because obsessing about the Astros; Broncos; Longhorn football, baseball, and basketball; and occasionally the Packers doesn't take up enough time. I'm secretly praying that the Rockets suck again so I can note their presence without getting too wrapped up in worrying about their success.

It is Finished

2006-05-11T23:30:00.000-07:00

How did you prepare for finals? Did you fight with a moth? Dream of moths? Cheat? Drink? I declined to participate. Law school is over.

Austin is ending. Wife: pregnant. House: purchased. Job: secured. And here is Houston. Worth it apparently. Better than Dallas, but disrespected. Land of the Mexicatessen.

A Letter

2006-05-07T23:26:00.000-07:00

Dear ESPN,

I realize that you got scooped big-time on the whole Barry-Bonds-might-be slightly-roided-up thing. I realize that you agreed to do a reality show about him over which he has total editorial control. I even realize that Babe Ruth was a transcendently amazing baseball player whose statistics are so far beyond those of his contemporaries that his like will never be seen again. Thus, I understand that you would want to note when Bonds passes Ruth for second on the all-time home run list. But I think it might be useful to point out that Henry "Hank" Aaron of the Milwaukee/Atlanta Braves currently holds the record for home runs hit in a career. He actually exceeded Ruth's total by 41 home runs. Perhaps you could stop the "Chasing Ruth" coverage on Sports Center, the "Breaking News" when Bonds does hit a homerun, and the front-page articles about Bonds's "pursuit of Ruth." As your extreme athletes from the X-Games might say: second place is the first loser. The only record Bonds is chasing right now is Lyle Alzado's.

Sincerely,

A baseball fan

5ive Things Discovered While Studying

2006-05-07T21:34:00.000-07:00

1. Holy crap there are a lot of show tunes on my iPod.
2. My favorite drinking fountain is fading. The gentle purr has been replaced by a throaty grind that indicates bearing failure and, ultimately, death.
3. The glee I expected to feel in the presence of stressed out 1Ls and 2Ls has not materialized.
4. Procrastination blogging is as enjoyable as ever, but not nearly as enjoyable as "parasitic echo blogging."
5. Giovanni Sartori might have a great idea for a new system of government, but he comes across as kind of a prick.

Back for More

2006-05-07T19:33:00.000-07:00

The New York Times:

"Heading into the election, many conservatives are disheartened by the war in Iraq, upset at what they see as a White House tolerance for bigger government and escalating federal spending, and divided over issues like immigration. The abrupt resignation on Friday of the director of the Central Intelligence Agency, Porter J. Goss, promised to feed the impression of an administration that is off balance.

But White House and Republican officials, trying to turn vulnerability to advantage, say conservatives could be united and re-energized by the possibility that Democrats could put Mr. Bush and his policies on political trial by winning control of even one chamber of Congress."

If any conservatives or Republicans happen to read this, please understand what the message is:

"We, the Bush administration, have seriously fucked things up. Bad. We've managed to piss you guys off and not do the things you want so now you're threatening not to come out and vote for our candidates. We've done such a shitty job that a spineless party with no message could take control of one of the branches of government. Please come out and support us to make sure that we can stay in power and continue to fuck up and not do the things you want us to do. If you don't vote for us, other people (Democrats) will come into power and not do the things you want done. And that will be totally different than us because we say we're going to do what you want and then don't do it. The Democrats won't even pretened to do what you want and then not do it.

So seriously, you should support us. Because otherwise we'll keep fucking things up but now Democrats might hold hearings about it and embarrass us. Even though we will never do what you want us to do because of our rank incompetence, please vote for us so we're not embarrassed in front of the TV and stuff. That would suck. Thanks for your vote. Now stop asking us for shit, we're busy fucking stuff up."

That's a helluva platform and is, unfortunately, more than the Democrats have going right now. May I propose a Democratic platform that they can basically all agree on:

"Bush is going to veto any good legislation we try to pass, so our goal for the next two years will be to hold this administration accountable for all of the things that are making you, the voter, angry. Why did we go to Iraq? Was the intelligence really that bad? If so, who is to blame and can we fire them and/or send them to Iraq in an unarmored Hummer with a defective flack jacket? If Bush really did lie to us to go to war, can we censure him? What the hell happened during Katrina? We know there's plenty of blame to go around, let's start assigning it. Just exactly who met with Cheney to write the national energy plan? How does the NSA eavesdropping and wiretapping program work and still remain within the bounds of the Fourth Amendment?"

It's about time this Unitary Executive learned what Separation of Powers means. He might think he can do anything he wants, and he might go ahead and do anything he wants. But it would be pretty sweet if we could expose his overreaching and incompetence for all the world to see.

The Most Important Thing You Will Read Today

2006-05-01T05:50:00.000-07:00

I'm not really a Texans fan, I'm not even that much of an NFL fan anymore, but I still ended up watching the first hour of the NFL Draft. I love that the drafting of Mario Williams by the Texans has led to near-revolt by the Houston fan base. I always thought the Texans needed linemen and not Vince Young or Reggie Bush. I preferred offensive lineman, but just the fact that they took a number of linemen makes me happy. What makes me unhappy is the fact that they burned the first overall pick (and the kind of money that is going to cost) on a defensive lineman. With a player like Reggie Bush available with the first pick, I think the Texans missed an opportunity to take advantage of a desperate team lower in the draft order and trade down to get more picks. There is no sure thing in the draft. I always think too much emphasis is placed on where a team is picking as opposed to how many picks a team has in the first three or four rounds. The Texans had a golden opportunity to stockpile picks in those rounds and take lots and lots of linemen, at least some of whom would certainly work out. Maybe Mario Williams will work out, but something should be kept in mind about him. N.C. State had one of the best defenses in college football last year (8th overall). That says a lot about Williams, right? Maybe. Three (!!!) of the seven players from N.C. State's defensive front seven were taken in the first round of the draft. Did Williams make those guys better, or was he so impressive because he played on an NFL-caliber line in a cruddy college football conference (the ACC)? Something to think about.

In the Name of God, Why?

2006-04-07T12:08:00.000-07:00

I was proofreading the last issue of this year's law review and noticed a citation that looked wrong. There was only a last name (McNollgast) listed as the author of a law review article (there's supposed to be a first and last name). Imagine my surprise when I looked up the name and found that it is a made-up name used by three professors when they co-author a piece together. Matthew McCubbins, Roger Noll, and Barry Weingast sign their pieces "McNollgast." Thanks guys. Way to fight that stereotype of pretentious, full-of-themselves academics.

On Baseball

2006-04-07T05:56:00.000-07:00

I've been reading baseball previews for the last couple of weeks, but I tried to stick to ones that actually talked about the upcoming season, the teams, and the new players. It's a cliche that baseball inspires the best (or at least the most) writing, movies, etc. I have no way to qualitatively prove that, but I also think much of that artistic output misses the point. The focus is on the way the game is a metaphor for our society, or how it brings out the best in people, or how it reminds us of a wonderful pastoral past, etc. So many of the classic essays about the game are about everything but the game. For me, baseball is not a yearly renewal that reminds me of the past and how it represents all that is good, nor is it a bulwark against an encroaching and threatening future. Baseball is a game, a sport. And I love the sport and the competition. What hooks me is not the sociological nostalgia as understood by George Will et al. What gets me is a very personal nostalgia tied to nothing but the game itself. The memories of I have of games I have seen and how those memories make the current games stressful, tense, and deliriously enjoyable.

To me, a baseball game is an unfolding series of predictable events. Only the end result is in doubt. There is very little new in baseball. You might see a particularly spectacular defensive play, or some especially entertaining baserunning, but nearly everything that can be done on the baseball diamond has been done before. Mostly what we see are copies of an original. Someone made the first basic 5-3 put out. Every spectacular David Wright throw to first is simply a variation of that. The same is true of every dazzling Willy Tavares infield single. This predictability is borne out in the stats of the game. The vast majority of hitters will get on base right around three times out of ten, whether by hitting, walking, or an error. The vast majority of players have defensive fielding percentages above 90%. These numbers are basically set in stone, are directly correlated, and are also strongly in tension with one another.

The predictability and the tension are what combine to make a game interesting for me. You know almost every single possible thing that could happen on a given play, and you know that it is very likely that the batter will not get on base. What makes baseball great for me is that you can picture in your mind and you have experienced the joy of that unlikely offensive outcome. Even though the odds are strongly against it, there is a possibility of your batter getting on base, of driving in a run. The joy of those moments is rare and memorable. Baseball for me is enjoyable because of this peculiar kind of nostalgia. I know something good can happen, I have seen something good happen in a similar situation in the past and I wait in anticipation. I hope--against long odds--that it will happen again. It is the desire to see something memorably great repeated, and the unlikelihood of that repetition, that keeps me hooked. Baseball ties together memories and stress in a very specific way. I can hardly stand to watch the game because experience and memory tell me that we're not going to get the hit we need. On the other hand, I can't not watch because those instances of offensive production, precisely because they are so rare, are burned into my memory and I want--I need--to feel that same ecstasy again.

Happy Sad

2006-04-04T14:24:00.000-07:00

Tom DeLay is stepping down. I'm happy about that. The man, whether criminal or not, was corrupt to the core and enamored of himself and his power. He represented the social conservatism of the part of his district that voted, and ignored the rest. He cut federal funding for the district when the local governments wanted to work together to provide public transportation and then he ran on a platform of providing more pork to the district during the most recent primary. Blind to his own hypocrisy, he is also man untroubled by dissenting views because he refuses to acknowledge their legitimacy. He is unworthy of a job in a pluralistic, representative democracy.

His resignation, as surprising as it was to me, shouldn't really be a shock. He stepped down because poll numbers showed he faced a tough race in November. They didn't show that he was destined to lose, just that it would be close. The man is a coward, but his actions are in line with his public career and his disdain for our democracy. He re-drew Texas's U.S. congressional districts to make sure that Republicans would both dominate the Texas delegation and that they would not face close elections. For him and his ilk, a close election is an election lost. The key is to change the rules of the game so you can't lose. When presented with even the possibility of losing, despite the power of incumbency and nearly unlimited funds, he folded.

DeLay said Republicans might lose the seat if the election was a referendum on him. That's why he needed to resign, so the Party could hold the seat. The Party. I hate to cast aspersions on the constitutional knowledge of a pest control specialist, but I think he might misunderstand the basis of our American system of government. We elect individuals. We do not elect a party list. Every election is a referendum on the individuals involved in it. That is the nature of the American system.

Surprised? Yes. Shocked? No. The saddest part of all of this for me is that people will think Congress is clean now. No more scandal because DeLay is gone. The problem is that he was the leader. He made the rules and told the rest of the members what was acceptable. So long as his colleagues praise him, Congress is corrupted by his cowardice and unethical practices.

Stop Making Sense

2006-03-23T20:32:00.000-08:00

My seminar paper just self-destructed. In the middle of page 23 (out of 30), the entire logical structure suddenly came crashing down. What I have now is various parts that make sense independently, but when read in the order I have placed them, and with the segways between sections as I have them now, is an incoherent and arguably contradictory mess.

It was originally due 13 hours from now. I have an extension, but that was supposed to be for "polishing" an already complete argument. Instead I have to begin again.

And now Texas's is losing by two. They were up by twelve when my paper still made sense. I fear these two near-calamities may be related.

UPDATE - It's an Elite Eight miracle! A break, some rereading, and ten minutes later, the paper is salvageable and fine. Check the score once I feel better . . . Texas nails a three as time expires. This means I need to write something brilliant on Saturday to ensure victory over LSU. No pressure . . .